Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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