Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
