I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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