Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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