Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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