is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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