my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
