I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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