I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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