dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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