There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
