He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
