my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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