Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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