I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
