Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
