He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
