i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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