That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
