Will you blow on my dice?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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