i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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