i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
