so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
