Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
