he shaved USA in his pubs
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
