he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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