Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
