census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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