stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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