I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
