oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
