doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
