NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
