its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
