I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
