Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
