it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
