just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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