I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
