I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
