you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
