I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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