toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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