Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
