I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
