Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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