What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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