life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
