it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
