Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
